the lady I've been trying to replace for years

Last night I had another counseling session... hopefully one of the last before I can be completely done. DONE. It was a good session and we talked about my experience growing up in Royal Oak, and how that plays part in who I am today. We discovered that most of my time growing up there was sad, angry or confusing, and that I feel very cheated by that place. Yet, no matter what, until that silly house is sold RO is where I have to go back to see the people I love. What a joke! And OF COURSE the same old movie plays over and over in my mind when I have to go back there. It's CRAP! And I WAS cheated! And I continue to be bitter about that - it makes me angry and resentful because childhood shouldn't have to be lived like that. Anyways...

I'm guessing that as soon as I take some time to get to know mom and talk with her more, things might shift for me a little bit. We'll see. But for now, it is clear that my therapist needs to me my own Mom. Not Aim, not Dale, not Chris, not Brandee, but my one and only mom - the lady I've been trying to replace for years. I have to talk with her more, and on a regular basis. I also need to start writing her letters so she can see my thoughts and respond to them. Though I'm not the best writer, I do think this is probably a good idea and will at least give it a try.

To you, my Brandee,
You are a great counselor and one amazing person. Thank you for your help over these six months. But mostly thank you for quitting that project management job back in 90-something, changing your focus, and spending tons of time, money and years of your life in school learning to help people. You are definitely in the right spot, touching many lives in ways you may or may not know about. THANK YOU! You are greatly appreciated. No matter where life takes us, know that you are a small piece of who I am.

As for the remainder of my reality, today things look pretty good. I'll continue to update this little blog site every now and then, so please make comments and keep checking back. Seeya 'round.

~Am